Day of Meaningless Games

Today, we will witness the craptitude that is the conference championship game. We will watch as several good teams play several other good teams and then get awarded some sort of corporate sponsored trophy and a trip to the Lotrimin Ultra Bowl. These games, as we all know, are being played to bring in millions of dollars for their respective conferences, but more importantly, they're being played so that during the first quarter intermission, they can bring out a giant Dr. Pepper can and have some guy try to throw a football through a tiny hole in the can to win $1 million which he'll just donate to his church anyway.

My point is that these games are a stupid way to make money. You know what's a smart way to make money? Not being in a conference. Did you know Notre Dame has its own television deal and will keep every last cent of money it gets from playing in whatever BCS bowl is secretly being changed to the national title game? True story. Whereas other schools have to split up all the money from bowl games and record commercials where their coaches talk about good sportsmanship (before, during, and after the game), we split up the money amongst ourselves and record commercials bragging about it. Even when we're not playing, our team is making money. Whereas Georgia Tech will only receive $13 in quarters if they beat Chris Paul and the the Demon Deacons this afternoon, we will get $4 million for giving NBC the rights to show a game from 1987 against Navy.