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Some of my loyal readers may be unaware that I used to be a newspaper columnist. Sometimes I would get letters to the editor. Here are some gems prompted by my famous "Dump Davie" campaign manifesto:

[the Dumpster]'s scathing indictment of Bob Davie in yesterday's Observer is ridiculous and deserves a reply. Logic was never a required course at a university, but perhaps the deans should again encourage its study — judging by [the Dumpster]''s lack of it.

First, do not argue from the particular to the general: Poor clock management does not equal poor coaching overall.

Second, do not use false syllogisms. [the Dumpster] states, "If he's a good coach ... he must ... ensure victory." Oh! That's easy! . . .Third, do not use hyperbole as facts. [the Dumpster] states, "Routinely, Bob Davie fails ... [and] "The fact remains, though, that Bob Davie has brought little good to the Notre Dame program." Well, how about recruiting, just for starters?

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I suspect that [the Dumpster] is simply a victim of that numerology that led us all to hope that this would be a perfect or near- perfect season. Perhaps not, but this team and its coach are "stand up guys." Don't count them out yet!

John E. Moore

Wilbraham, Mass.

September 16, 1999

Here is another:

I am replying to [the Dumpster]'s recent criticism of Bob Davie which ran in the Observer. As a proud alumni and die-hard supporter of Notre Dame and her proud football tradition, I must admit that I am repulsed by [the Dumpster]'s statements. While it is true enough that Davie has made mistakes in the area of time management — most notably the LSU safety — footage shown on ESPN tonight indicates that Big Ten officiating, not Davie, was the primary cause of the Purdue loss.

[the Dumpster] like so many other fair-weather Notre Dame "fans," is the first to criticize and the last to understand the complexities of running a football program. Davie can't stop our running backs from fumbling. He can't do anything more than he's done to help a young team adjust to a complex and promising new offense. He didn't recruit the players who "aren't getting motivated" on Saturdays. And he surely can't do anything about officiating that seems smitten with Notre Dame's decision not to join the Big Ten.

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However, [the Dumpster], should people with your viewpoint bring about Bob Davie's resignation, then I hope you apply for the coaching vacancy. You might discover that you, in all your wisdom, might need a little more time to bring a National Champion to South Bend.

Anthony Rossmiller

Notre Dame Class of 1998

September 16, 1999

As Cartman might say, they can suck my balls.