Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Yes, I am still alive. I have spent the last two weeks wallpapering my room with all the pictures of Jimmy Clausen I received from all of you. If you are ever in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by the Chumdumpster Mansion and see what all your hard work has wrought.

Moving on, Notre Dame football was recently in the news, as former WR Jeff Samardzija decided to forego entering the NFL Draft in favor of signing with the Chicago Cubs as a pitcher. Samardzija has stated that baseball is his first love, and that even though he will be playing in obscurity in the middle of Idaho for the five years, he would still prefer that than playing in the NFL.

To say I am angry at this pronouncement is an understatement. I was a bit perturbed that Charlie Weis even permitted Samardzija to play two sports in the first place because I doubted his commitment to the football team. Clearly my misgivings were entirely correct. It is clear that Samardzija, unlike the rest of the team, did not commit his heart and eternal soul to Notre Dame football. This had grave consequences for the entire season. Since he was trying to preserve his baseball career, Samardzija did not give the 117% effort required by the Genius (who mathematically increased the maximum percentage in 2005). Brady Quinn was extremely limited in his passing options, because he knew he couldn't throw it over the middle lest Samardzija make a half-ass attempt to catch the pass, but then back out at the last second to avoid contact.

I hope in the future that Charlie Weis will strenuously question new recruits as to their other athletic interests. If they have ever played another sport at the varsity level in the past four years, I think we should definitely pass on these youngsters. I just hope that Jimmy Clausen doesn't have a passion for fencing.

Request From My Loyal Readers

I don't know if any of you watched the U.S. Army High School All American game last saturday, but it showcased some future ND stars. Most notably, Jimmy Clausen (future 4-time Heisman winner) played a significant role in the game. What I really need from all of you is any picture that you might have of Clausen. Right now I'm trying to create a picture collage of the golden boy and can't find enough decent pictures on the Internet. Why do I need a picture collage you ask? Well, I create a collage of every big time prospect that ND lands and put it up in my room. The goal is to have every inch of my room, and hopefully sometime in the future my entire house, filled with pictures of ND legends. I just feel a lot more comfortable when surrounded by the "chosen ones."

T-Minus 4 Hours 30 Minutes

ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL - I am blogging to you live from the Superdome parking lot here in beautiful New Orleans thanks to a very nice LSU fan whose computer I have, err, borrowed. There's going to be a lot of talk during the game tonight about how Notre Dame could lose a record ninth straight bowl game, but I'm basically ignoring all that. I could try to explain to you how we actually won all those bowl games or how we still get the $13 million regardless of who wins the actual game, but this is irrelevant. What is relevant is that we will be saying a final farewell to Brady Quinn before he departs to rejuvenate the hapless Detroit Lions.

Fun fact: Notre Dame and LSU have never faced each other in the Allstate Sugar Bowl, a bit of trivia that favors the Irish, since Notre Dame is 150-0 when playing a team they have already played for the first time in the particular bowl they are playing in today.

How is Notre Dame going to win today? We are going to throw at you and we are going throw at you hard. Brady Quinn has been practicing his throwing technique and he is now able to throw a football through a brick wall. What this means is that instead of our receivers having to run precise routes, they can just stand behind a cornerback and Brady will through the ball through that player's torso for an easy completion. After we run about 12 plays (one youngster might try to play one more play after having a ball thrown through his torso, but it's probably not a good idea), LSU will be down to its second stringers who we will easily walk over for the victory.

After the win, the team will be traveling to Foxborough to play the New York Jets on Sunday on route to a Super Bowl title, so that should be pretty exciting. I hope Eric Mangini is prepared for the amount of pain he is going to feel when the Genius gives him a supersonic wedgie before the game.

The Tostitos BCS "Bowl Bash" is Apparently Underway

NEW ORLEANS -- I am here on the ground in the Big Easy getting ready to watch the greatest football game of the year--nay--decade. Tomorrow will mark the epic beginning of what is sure to be a long and glorious rule over college football by none other than your Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Last night I stayed up late to watch the Fiesta Bowl and I was not impressed. Boise State's execution of three straight trick plays to win the game smacked of unprofessionalism and stained the great game of football indelibly. The hook & ladder and statue of liberty plays are amusing to watch, but they belong on the flag/snow football field, not on the big stage. The fact that Boise State had to rely on these plays to beat Oklahoma shows that they have no business playing in a BCS Bowl. I hope that when the BCS Board next meets, they will outlaw the use of such trickery.

Stay tuned tomorrow for an immense preview of the Allstate Sugar Bowl (I get paid $5 for every time I mention the corporate sponsor. Hello, Allstate Sugar Bowl hat!) and try not to fall asleep tonight during the FedEx Orange Bowl.